Alyssa Scott got candid about the mourning process.
On Thursday, the momma penned an emotional post on her Instagram Story opening up about how she is “grieving” of her and Nick Cannon’s 5-month-old son Zen during what would have been his first Christmas. Alongside a picture of the baby’s crib filled with clothes and other items, she wrote:
“Maybe you close the door to the nursery. Maybe you leave it open. Maybe you have boxed some things away – maybe you still fold and put them in the drawers This is where I’m at. Walking by his room..sometimes going in. Washing some of his clothes but putting aside others that still have his scent. A pile is growing because I don’t know exactly what to do but I’m not rushing myself to a decision.”
Related: Nick Cannon Gets Angel Tattoo In Honor Of Late Son Zen
Scott then expressed how she is keeping those who are also mourning a loss in her thoughts:
“I am thinking of all who are grieving this holiday season. I am also reading your messages and keeping them close to me during this time. Love.”
The model also shared that she was “so excited” for Zen to wear a “My First Christmas” onesie, saying:
“I have had it laying out since thanksgiving.”
Heartbreaking.
As you know, Alyssa and Nick’s little boy passed away earlier this month from a brain tumor. The 41-year-old father disclosed the devastating news on The Nick Cannon Show, revealing that the doctors discovered fluid building up in his head, along with a malignant tumor, during one of Zen’s normal checkup appointments. Although he underwent brain surgery, things sadly took a turn when his tumor started growing at the end of November, and he died.
The parents have been open about their grief over the past few weeks. Scott previously posted a video montage of Zen along with the song Promises by Jhené Aiko, writing:
“Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here. I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening.”
Meanwhile, Nick recently reflected in an interview with People on how being Zen’s father was truly the greatest blessing in his life:
“We had a short time with a true angel. My heart is shattered. I wish I could have done more, spent more time with him, taken more pictures. I wish I could have hugged him longer. … He was the most loving baby. I look at being his father as a great privilege.”
We are sending some extra love to Alyssa and anyone else who is mourning the loss of someone this holiday season.
[Image via Alyssa Scott/Instagram, WENN/Avalon]
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