Jennifer Lawrence is opening back up.
Not long ago, the actress had a reputation for saying whatever was on her mind. But during a break from the industry — which was extended by the whole pandemic situation — she went through some major life changes. She married Cooke Maroney back in 2019, and now, she’s pregnant with the couple’s first child.
Related: Jennifer Lawrence ‘Very Happy’ & Cannot Wait To Become A Momma!
But even before her personal life transformed, she was already looking to make changes. In a new Vanity Fair profile, she recalled several box office disappointments, admitting:
“I was not pumping out the quality that I should have. I just think everybody had gotten sick of me. I’d gotten sick of me. It had just gotten to a point where I couldn’t do anything right. If I walked a red carpet, it was, ‘Why didn’t she run?’… I think that I was people-pleasing for the majority of my life. Working made me feel like nobody could be mad at me: ‘Okay, I said yes, we’re doing it. Nobody’s mad.’ And then I felt like I reached a point where people were not pleased just by my existence. So that kind of shook me out of thinking that work or your career can bring any kind of peace to your soul.”
“The attention on me was so high and extreme that, in a bizarre way, the set had become a great escape. Everybody treats you normally. It’s not like you walk into hair and makeup and people are like, ‘Oh, my God!’ But you get burnt out. Eventually I had to ask myself, ‘Am I saying yes because I want to go to work the next day? Or am I doing this because I want to make this movie?’”
At that point, the actress realized she “didn’t have a life,” and decided she “should go get one.” She revealed that due to her own “baseline anxiety,” after the success of The Hunger Games she always had a security guard with her wherever she went, something the interviewer compared to a baby’s “lovey.” The 31-year-old agreed:
“Oh, my God, yeah, that’s so tragic and hateable. … So, when I started dating my now husband, I was so embarrassed to bring my lovey when he asked me out. I mean, how mortifying would that have been? So I didn’t, and it made me really nervous the first few times, and it turned out totally fine. I realized you get more privacy if…. I don’t know if this is even safe to talk about. I have security all the time. Twenty-four hours a day. And a gun!”
LOLz! In all seriousness, though, returning to the public eye after these life changes was a huge step:
“I haven’t spoken to the world in forever. And to come back now, when I have all of these new accessories added to my life that I obviously want to protect…. I’m nervous for you. I’m nervous for me. I’m nervous for the readers!”
Being protective of her new family’s privacy extends beyond her professional life, however. Jen shared:
“If I was at a dinner party, and somebody was like, ‘Oh, my God, you’re expecting a baby,’ I wouldn’t be like, ‘God, I can’t talk about that. Get away from me, you psycho!’ But every instinct in my body wants to protect their privacy for the rest of their lives, as much as I can. I don’t want anyone to feel welcome into their existence. And I feel like that just starts with not including them in this part of my work.”
The Silver Linings Playbook star explained that while engaged, she approached her upcoming film (Red, White and Water) “as somebody who was healing from unseen injuries and was entering a world that was healthier and better, but scarier.” She noted that “staying is hard. It’s scary when you’re used to leaving.” However, after production was delayed two years because of COVID, she returned to the set as a married woman “with a better perspective on staying.”
Related: J-Law Confronted Anderson Cooper For Saying She Faked Infamous Oscars Fall!
Despite the premium on privacy, she did offer a few tidbits about married life, like how Cooke had given her a diamond necklace tucked into a hardbound screenplay of her favorite movie, Hereditary, atop a photo of one character’s decapitated head. (“It was so sweet.”) She also shared:
“I really enjoy going to the grocery store with him. I don’t know why but it fills me with a lot of joy. I think maybe because it’s almost a metaphor for marriage. ‘Okay, we’ve got this list. These are the things we need. Let’s work together and get this done.’ And I always get one of the cooking magazines, like 15 Minute Healthy Meals, and he always gives me a look like, ‘You’re not going to use that. When are you going to make that?’ And I say, ‘Yes, I am. Tuesday!’ And he’s always right, and I never do.”
Aww. She may be returning to public life with a more mature, thoughtful perspective, but she’s still the same J.Law we know and love!
Ch-ch-check out the cover and spread (below)!
[Image via APEGA/WENN]